The cavalry is coming!
Saturday, August 09, 2008
Read the origin of Mr. Lampooner, literary superhero in chapter 1 of this epic saga here :
http://loonylampoonery.blogspot.com/2008/06/mr-lampooner-literary-superhero.html
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If I may be allowed to break out of character and speak as the author, I must confess that my imagination has been failing me with a worrying regularity now. I find it difficult to concoct a situation to bring Mr. Lampooner, literary superhero back into the world of the living. Am I faced with the most difficult decision that a writer must take?
Is it time to kill off my titular character?
I lift my pen, with tears in my eyes. It will be quick and painless, I assure him.
Painless? Can death really be painless? What of the pain caused to the dealer of death? I am reminded of Proffie.
Poor ol' Proffie. No character born on paper has died a death so horrible.
'Twas a long time ago when I was a young lad. My mother had given me my first pencil.
"What can I do with this, momma?", I asked my mother of superior intelligence.
"Use it to change the world, son."
I went back to my desk. I would write a story. A story about a lad called Proffie. The greatest lad that ever lived.
I put pencil to paper. It was an exhilarating feeling. I felt like God. I wrote the first line,
Once upon a time, in a distant land, there lived a lad called Proffie who-
And I realised that writing was a boring activity for a young boy. I positioned the eraser over the line and with one swipe the paper was blank again.
Poor ol' Proffie. Erased out of exisence. Literally.
No, Mr. Lampooner. You shall not suffer a similar fate. Hang in there. The cavalry is coming!
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In the other hemisphere of a fictional world, strange sounds are heard early in the morning.
"Whinnying? At sea? Seahorses! Every man for himself! The Seahorses have been angered!", screams the lookout, a religious God fearing man and a believer in the supernatural.
"Seahorses are fish, you ninny. This is the neighing of land horses. Horses that have cavalry uniforms in their saddle bags. Okay, who wants to go wake up the Cap'n and tell her she's got horses on her ship, and that they've pooped on the deck?"
posted by foogarky @ 11:19 AM,
1 Comments:
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At 4:28 AM,
Thomas said...
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OH MY GOD. Does this mean-what-is this-are we seeing more-what? PLEASE BE TRUE. Stop teasing and start pleasing!
The Author
foogarky
foogarky is the pseudonym of the fictional construct who battles for supremacy with other constructed personas in the mind of a crazed individual. He describes himself as a man living in a non descript house in Rio De Janiero, Brazil with two dogs and a parakeet.
About This Blog
The Loony Lampoonist serves to parody, spoof and satirize everything that needs to be parodied, spoofed and satirized. Due to the fictional nature of this electronic journal, any anecdotes appearing here ever so often that seem to be personal in nature, would suffer from the effects of conflicting personalities, the creation of fictional events and the inclusion of non existent characters who did not make it to the big league in the author's literary works. Thus, the Loony Lampoonist is also a purgatory for characters and ideas that have missed the limelight.
