The Loony Lampoonist

The question of fatherhood


As many young men contemplate the decision of fatherhood these days, a lampooner finds himself coerced to speak out in its favour.

I come from a long line of lampooners; my forefathers have fathered on unfailingly since the beginning of time and our history is rife with tales of bawdy romances, impregnations under false pretenses and cuckolded husbands seeking revenge, though the tale that gets told the most is set during the French Revolution when my great-great-great granpappy Le Satiriste Fou found himself in the unenviable position of aristocracy and dragged to the guillotine realised that he was young and had no progeny, so to a request to find out his last dying wish replied that he would like to sow his seed in a woman so that his legacy may live on and the Bourgeoisie agreed for they would not deny a dying man his dying wish and produced a proletarian woman of great beauty and he coupled with her, before being decapitated with a smile on his face. The lampooners born since have carried on his legacy for they know that at the Day of Reckoning the last men shall be judged and their DNA shall be examined to determine their pedigree. It has been revealed by scientific study that fathering a child causes one to leave his genetic imprint on the next generation, so I too father children in the hope that I shall be immortalized in my descendants DNA and on Judgment Day I shall be recognised as one of the greatest men who ever lived.

Father as many children as you can, fellow men. We suffer from no want of fertile women in these times.

posted by foogarky @ 5:02 PM,

4 Comments:

At 9:31 PM, Blogger Mihir Pathare said...

"Not tonight honey, I have a headache"

I bet your forefathers never had to listen to THAT line. They had it easy!!

 
At 11:17 PM, Blogger Kaber Vasuki said...

"Father as many children as you can, fellow men. We suffer from no want of fertile women in these times."

Ha ha

 
At 11:24 PM, Blogger Kaber Vasuki said...

Hey foogarky

I Blit your blog, here.

What is blog bliting?

Thanks for writing such a good blog :)

 
At 9:21 PM, Blogger The Artful Dodger said...

Yech!
How typically chauvinist.
You write about how the man died with a a smile on his face, how about the poor woman who was reduced to little more than a husbandry cow.

*krystal-chan glowers*

 

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foogarky

foogarky is the pseudonym of the fictional construct who battles for supremacy with other constructed personas in the mind of a crazed individual. He describes himself as a man living in a non descript house in Rio De Janiero, Brazil with two dogs and a parakeet.

About This Blog

The Loony Lampoonist serves to parody, spoof and satirize everything that needs to be parodied, spoofed and satirized. Due to the fictional nature of this electronic journal, any anecdotes appearing here ever so often that seem to be personal in nature, would suffer from the effects of conflicting personalities, the creation of fictional events and the inclusion of non existent characters who did not make it to the big league in the author's literary works. Thus, the Loony Lampoonist is also a purgatory for characters and ideas that have missed the limelight.


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