Cap'n Hooker and the Promise of a Portrait
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Tell the Cap'n, I owe her some and I haven't forgotten.
"Ahoy, Cap'n Hooker! Ahoy!", I cried, "Where art thou O' saucy scourge of the seven seas! I bear a message from a young lass, a message of grave importance!"
"This had better be good, Mister Lampooner", replied she, emerging from her cabin, "I be in the middle o' somethin' reeely important!"
"What could possibly be more important than a message of grave importance?"
"Me Jolly Dodger's birdbath, of course!", replied she.
I tsk-tsked. "Your parrot can perform his ablutions later. I carry a-"
"How dare ye! Jolly Dodger be a she. A lady of fine plumage and greener than the greenest emerald ye ever set yer eyes on!"
"One can hardly be blamed for mistaking the gender of a bird bestowed with the dodgy name of the Jolly Dodger, can he?"
"Oh, there be a story behind that, Mister Lampooner", replied the Cap'n laughing, "the Jolly Dodger had a wild youth, y'see-"
I stopped her in mid-sentence, wondering why every female character in this story seemed to have a wild youth, "Ah, never mind the backstory of the Jolly Dodger. It is a tale for another day. Returning to the matter in hand, or more specifically the missive in my hand, it reads that this young lass owes you something (of unspecified identity and value) and says that she has not forgotten. Though what it is that she still retains in her memory is left to the imagination of the reader.."
"Aye, I knows what she talks 'bout."
"Oh, what is it?"
"She wishes to paint me portrait", replied the Cap'n grinning.
"Why would anyone want to paint you?"
"What is that supposed to be meaning?", growled she, gripping her cutlass.
"Ah, beauty so heavenly surely must cast an earthly shadow", said she, claiming to be quoting a poet of yore, though I must say that I certainly haven't read poetry with such cheesy lines before, "so it be not a meaningless endeavour after all, eh Mister Lampooner?"
"I suppose so."
"Aye! However, I demand that I shall be painted along with dear ol' Jolly Dodger! Can ye carry that message back to her?"
"Yer wish is me command, O' commander of the octal oceans!", I replied, imitating her piratical lingo.
"Octal oceans? There be only five oceans known to landlubbers, ye silly person. And let's keep it that way, shall we? There be unimaginable treasures in the unknown seas, and Cap'n Hooker shall 'ave 'em all! Arr!"
"Aye Aye, Cap'n!", I said, saluting, running away to deliver the message. Ooh, a treasure hunt for real! We be goin' a-sailing, a-sailing we shall go!
posted by foogarky @ 12:38 PM,
2 Comments:
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At 12:27 PM,
Mihir Pathare said...
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a-sailing we will go!
a-sailing we will go!
We'll catch a Fish
And put it in a dish
And never let it go!!! -
At 12:29 PM,
foogarky said...
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Ye comin' along with us on the treasure hunt too, eh Taurius?
The Author
foogarky
foogarky is the pseudonym of the fictional construct who battles for supremacy with other constructed personas in the mind of a crazed individual. He describes himself as a man living in a non descript house in Rio De Janiero, Brazil with two dogs and a parakeet.
About This Blog
The Loony Lampoonist serves to parody, spoof and satirize everything that needs to be parodied, spoofed and satirized. Due to the fictional nature of this electronic journal, any anecdotes appearing here ever so often that seem to be personal in nature, would suffer from the effects of conflicting personalities, the creation of fictional events and the inclusion of non existent characters who did not make it to the big league in the author's literary works. Thus, the Loony Lampoonist is also a purgatory for characters and ideas that have missed the limelight.
