The Loony Lampoonist

Breast Envy


This is a tale a few summers old.

In our growing up years, I was very close to a cousin. We were inseperable friends, our blood forged bonds thicker than water as the saying goes [or something to that effect]. Anyhow, as the years went by we grew older and the cousin got himself a girlfriend. He started spending a lot of time with the interloper while yours truly was left in the lurch.
Obviously miffed at the turn of events, I confronted him about this. "Why do you spend so much time with that girl? What has she got that I don't?", I asked.
"Tits", he replied.
His monosyllabic reply had the taste of bitter truth to it. The next time she visited, I stared at her breasts longingly, envious. The dirty look she flashed at me seemed to say, "These are mine! Get your own, you flat-chested loser." Only in my later years would I realise what her dirty look actually meant.
So there you have it, Freud. You spoke so much about Penis Envy, but you did not live long enough to see a documented case of the opposite, Breast Envy. If only you had lived a few decades longer, I would have offered myself for psychoanalysis.

posted by foogarky @ 1:34 PM,

2 Comments:

At 12:32 PM, Blogger Maddy Gopinathan said...

lol.ineteresting post.Keep it up.

 
At 3:13 AM, Blogger Jaguar Paw said...

Just terrific. Only thing is that penis envy is a real psychological phenomenon, whereas "Breast Envy" is a singular event that occurred either in Foogarky's pre-pubescent past, or his present hyper-fertile imagination.....

 

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foogarky

foogarky is the pseudonym of the fictional construct who battles for supremacy with other constructed personas in the mind of a crazed individual. He describes himself as a man living in a non descript house in Rio De Janiero, Brazil with two dogs and a parakeet.

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The Loony Lampoonist serves to parody, spoof and satirize everything that needs to be parodied, spoofed and satirized. Due to the fictional nature of this electronic journal, any anecdotes appearing here ever so often that seem to be personal in nature, would suffer from the effects of conflicting personalities, the creation of fictional events and the inclusion of non existent characters who did not make it to the big league in the author's literary works. Thus, the Loony Lampoonist is also a purgatory for characters and ideas that have missed the limelight.


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