The Bizarre Tale of Victoria Frankenstein
Sunday, July 15, 2007
I am a man of science. I unlock the secrets of the microscopic worlds of the human cell. My name is Victor Frankenstein.
You need not fear me. Certain fictionalized accounts claim that I am the creator of a terrifying monster that takes my name. An exciting story perhaps, but it is all fantasy I assure you.
I am however, the creator of the greatest sexual technique ever known to Man.
The Ipse Coitus.
It all began one day, when one of my students screamed "Go fuck yourself!" at me in a fit of rage.
After disciplining the insolent young man for his colourful display of rebellion, I started thinking,
What if this meaningless, abusive phrase could be looked at in a literal sense?
What if scientific thought could be applied to turn an impossible concept into reality?
Excited, I rushed down into my laboratory. I drew blood from my arm and extracted the DNA. In those double helices lay code which defined who I was.
I cloned myself and looked at my creation. And slapped my forehead. I had overlooked my gender. My clone was male, like I was and this was the 19th century. Homosexuality was taboo and still unheard of.
So I disposed of the clone (using methods better left unsaid) and used the remaining DNA to create a clone of the female gender. As she emerged from the birth pod, I remembered that primates and humans shared 99% of their genetic code. Similarly, male and female humans would share a genetic code with a difference of 1%, I theorized. And that one percentile difference worked upon my DNA during the cloning process to cause an unanticipated change.
In other words, she was not me.
I disposed of her (with the same methods that were previously left unsaid and shall remain in the status quo) and made my final attempt. I created a human female, a blank slate or an empty shell as it were, devoid of any memories. I recorded my precious memories and transferred it to her mind. I then named her Victoria Frankenstein.
She was me.
I looked at her. As I gazed into her deep blue eyes, the window to her soul, I saw myself. The attraction was irresistible. I realised that the human mind was unashamedly narcissistic.
As I took her in my arms, our bodies intertwined, I had achieved the impossible. I had fucked myself.
posted by foogarky @ 2:07 PM,
2 Comments:
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At 2:59 AM,
Jaguar Paw said...
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Ha ha.....this is quite simply mind-bending !!!
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At 8:55 PM,
crovean said...
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hahaha...naais :D
The Author
foogarky
foogarky is the pseudonym of the fictional construct who battles for supremacy with other constructed personas in the mind of a crazed individual. He describes himself as a man living in a non descript house in Rio De Janiero, Brazil with two dogs and a parakeet.
About This Blog
The Loony Lampoonist serves to parody, spoof and satirize everything that needs to be parodied, spoofed and satirized. Due to the fictional nature of this electronic journal, any anecdotes appearing here ever so often that seem to be personal in nature, would suffer from the effects of conflicting personalities, the creation of fictional events and the inclusion of non existent characters who did not make it to the big league in the author's literary works. Thus, the Loony Lampoonist is also a purgatory for characters and ideas that have missed the limelight.
