Adventus Anima - Part 3
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
The advent of the Anima - Part 3
The Black Smithy.
Was this rundown, roofless shed really the Mistress' base of operations? foogarky struggled to contain his mirth as he opened the door and entered.
He was falling. Fast. He reached out, but he could not grasp anything that would break his fall. The darkness that engulfed him seemed to go on forever.
foogarky moaned with pleasure as hands worked his shoulders. His taut muscles were loosening in response to the movement of the experienced hands over his body. He opened his eyes and found himself in a massage parlour. He started thinking about the Black Smithy and his falling when he found himself being turned over and looking directly into the eyes of his masseur.
The eyes were green and seemed strangely familiar. foogarky broke eye contact and looked at the surroundings. The finely shaped nose. The luscious red lips. He was in the presence of a lady of unnatural beauty.
"Are you the Mistress?", he asked.
The lady nodded her lovely head.
He wanted to ask about his brother, loonan. About Gn'arth. Wanted to kill her for what she did to them. Wanted to avenge their deaths.
She smiled coyly. foogarky forgot about Gn'arth. She touched his shoulders and it tingled with pleasure. He forgot about loonan. He forgot all. He forgave her.
"You belong to me now, foogarky", she said. He smiled and said nothing. Wasn't this how all love stories ended?
[Jungian psychology hypothesizes that the Anima, the feminine side of the male mind can project itself in one's actions. Can an oversexed Anima turn one into a nymphomaniac? Is it time to start cross dressing?]
The End.
posted by foogarky @ 12:38 PM,
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Adventus Anima - Part 2
Monday, September 03, 2007
The advent of the Anima - Part 2
loonan and Gn'arth were dead, decapitated for no apparent reason.
Standing over the detached noggins of his comrades, foogarky was pondering over the phases of shock, grief and denial and which officially came first when he decided to skip all the three and dive into the fourth phase directly.
Revenge.
A dish best served cold was turning out to be hard to find. foogarky was wondering about who he should be looking for when he heard a croaky voice croak, "I know who you should be looking for". Looking in the direction of the mind reading voice, foogarky saw a frog and his eyes widened with surprise.
"Were you expecting a raven perhaps, to maintain an atmosphere of mystery?", the slimy amphibian enquired in an offended tone.
"Well, yes", replied our intrepid hero.
"I'm sorry about my current species, but the Mistress was in a foul mood and she zapped me about a bit. Hence, here I am, transmogrified into a frog. Anyway, getting back to the matters at hand, she is waiting for you."
"Who?"
"My Mistress"
"Your Mistress who?"
"I don't have time for these knock knocked jokes, silly man person. It's breeding time for us frogs and I've got my lady waiting for some action, if you know what I mean. So head over to the black smithy and meet the mistress." And the frog disappeared into the slimy depths of the swamp.
"Now how do I get to the Black smithy?", the clueless but very, very brave hero wondered as another of the Mistress' creatures lurking in proximity slapped it's forehead in disgust while muttering "Oh for the love of..." and led foogarky to his destination, taking care that he would not wander away distracted until he reached the aforementioned destination. The Black Smithy.
posted by foogarky @ 2:39 PM,
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Adventus Anima - Part 1
The advent of the Anima - Part 1
There had been signs of it coming all along. Ominous Omens appeared, foretelling a dark future worth writing a story about (or at least a blog post). One couldn't really complain that this was an "unexpected development" in the plot. However, our clueless protagonist foogarky was not an observant individual. He was a man of many talents, but keeping abreast of tidings in this fair world was not one of them.
To make matters worse, foogarky was on vacation. He had spent years in battle alongside loonan, the other member of the Brothers-in-Arms duo drafted to keep the monster Gn'arth in check, imprisoned in the cavernous depths of it's lair. He needed a break from the Brothers-in-Arms service, he decided; heading off to the South Seas, leaving loonan in charge.
And then the omens appeared with unfailing regularity as he surfed the waves, danced with unpollinated maidens and quaffed the ale made out of coconut husk in the Southern Seas. But foogarky, the "Oh so clueless, how dense can you be?" one noticed not a single omen among those that presented themselves before him, craving for his attention. Not a single one that is until an omen of such unprecedented magnitude that it could only be described as a "plum catch" literally washed up at foogarky's feet just as he was running into the water with a maiden whose beauty had earlier filled his mind with thoughts of saucy deflowery.
It was loonan's head. (The location of the headless body of loonan was unknown at this point in the story)
Reeling from the shock, foogarky was suddenly aware of the omens that had warned of the tilt in the balance of good and evil in the world. loonan was slain, which only meant that Gn'arth had prevailed. All was not lost however, foogarky thought as he rushed back to the HQ, realising that he was still alive to contain the evil that had apparently been let loose on the world.
He was greeted with the grinning head of Gn'arth neatly driven through a stake, planted vertically in a rice farm next to a scarecrow with a hideous pumpkin head that would made an ugliness comparison between the two heads extremely difficult.
Gn'arth was also dead. Did this mean there was a new challenger in the ring?
posted by foogarky @ 12:46 PM,
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The Author
foogarky
foogarky is the pseudonym of the fictional construct who battles for supremacy with other constructed personas in the mind of a crazed individual. He describes himself as a man living in a non descript house in Rio De Janiero, Brazil with two dogs and a parakeet.
About This Blog
The Loony Lampoonist serves to parody, spoof and satirize everything that needs to be parodied, spoofed and satirized. Due to the fictional nature of this electronic journal, any anecdotes appearing here ever so often that seem to be personal in nature, would suffer from the effects of conflicting personalities, the creation of fictional events and the inclusion of non existent characters who did not make it to the big league in the author's literary works. Thus, the Loony Lampoonist is also a purgatory for characters and ideas that have missed the limelight.
