The Belt
Sunday, September 25, 2011
I tried it on.
It circumnavigated my waist twice.
What manner of man held up his trousers with a belt of this length, I wondered. He had to have been awfully voluminous. I tried to picture such a man in my head.
And failed.
Pachydermous imagery filled my mind instead. Was it possible that some men could have been made so large? His skin could very well be filled in with two, or even three men of my build. What would I feel when I encountered a man of great girth? I suppose it wouldn't be quite unlike a child looking up at its father. He must have commanded greater respect and authority than a normal sized man.
I wondered about the gravitational effects around this man. What was the strain on the gravitational forces to keep him grounded, preventing from floating away into the black nothingness above? Would he exert his own gravity on people around him, drawing them closer to himself? I could not picture it in my head.
How many cows did he kill, or have killed to obtain cowhide to produce belts of this great diameter? Were animal populations halved during his lifetime to feed his existence? What was his metabolism like? Slower or faster than mine? My head ached from this reasoning.
I felt the texture of the belt in my hand. Leather, they called it in the old days. It must have been at least seven hundred years old. Rather well preserved for an artifact of the those times.
I looked at my own belt. Fashioned out of plant fiber, with a buckle made of oak wood and featuring a lone hole. Every one of us had the hole in the exact same place in our belts. We had to wear our belts at all times. Regardless of what we ate and what we did. We had to fit in.
I envied that man.
posted by foogarky @ 3:06 AM,
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The Author
foogarky
foogarky is the pseudonym of the fictional construct who battles for supremacy with other constructed personas in the mind of a crazed individual. He describes himself as a man living in a non descript house in Rio De Janiero, Brazil with two dogs and a parakeet.
About This Blog
The Loony Lampoonist serves to parody, spoof and satirize everything that needs to be parodied, spoofed and satirized. Due to the fictional nature of this electronic journal, any anecdotes appearing here ever so often that seem to be personal in nature, would suffer from the effects of conflicting personalities, the creation of fictional events and the inclusion of non existent characters who did not make it to the big league in the author's literary works. Thus, the Loony Lampoonist is also a purgatory for characters and ideas that have missed the limelight.
