Giant arrows shot out of the darkness and embedded themselves in the wooden walls behind us, missing us by a hair’s breadth. Where was it coming fro-
“Quit worryin’ about the sound effects, you clod!”, yelled the Captain as she fled. “You can narrate the tale later.”
It seemed like good advice. I followed her, trying to catch up. She could be quite fleet footed, especially when she had an entire army in pursuit. I looked behind. They were on horses now.
We looked at each other. There was only one thing to do.
Leap out of the book.
And there ends the tale of the Lampooner and the buxom buccaneer.
~The End~
“That was a close one,” I said, as we swam away from the book. “I wonder where we are.”
“Seems to be a story set in sea. Mutiny on the Bounty perhaps? Or the Life of Pi?”, replied the Captain.
“So the only chance of our rescue is on a navy ship destined for a horrific mutiny or a life boat inhabited by a hyena and a tiger?”
“Aye.”
“It’s the watery grave for us, I’m afraid.”
blub blub blub
“If you don’t stop with the sound effects, I’ll drown you myself!”, she growled.
I grinned sheepishly. And felt myself being lifted from beneath. I was now riding a dolphin.
I looked behind and saw the Captain sitting on the back of a giant turtle. She looked amused.
“Look there,” she said. “It’s the King of Atlantis!”
foogarky is the pseudonym of the fictional construct who battles for supremacy with other constructed personas in the mind of a crazed individual. He describes himself as a man living in a non descript house in Rio De Janiero, Brazil with two dogs and a parakeet.
About This Blog
The Loony Lampoonist serves to parody, spoof and satirize everything that needs to be parodied, spoofed and satirized. Due to the fictional nature of this electronic journal, any anecdotes appearing here ever so often that seem to be personal in nature, would suffer from the effects of conflicting personalities, the creation of fictional events and the inclusion of non existent characters who did not make it to the big league in the author's literary works. Thus, the Loony Lampoonist is also a purgatory for characters and ideas that have missed the limelight.
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Shout Box
The Loony Lampoonist Inc. is a no-hope-of-profit organisation dedicated to distorting fiction for the purposes of satire and parody. We welcome donations to cover our operation costs and ridiculously high legal expenses. All donations are tax-deductible in the Bahamas. If your tightwaddery gets the better of you, we can offer an alternative. Offer us a few words of encouragement in our Shout Box and we'll survive on that. That and oxygen.
Dedicated to
Robert E Howard
and his creation
Conan the Cimmerian
